My expectations of breastfeeding were way off base. I underestimated how hard it would be, especially at first. This is my warning to the mothers-to-be: it sure ain’t easy.
Hiya!
This is a blog about attempting to make your own humans (and failing miserably at first, but eventually succeeding), parenting, marriage, working mom life, aging parents, and being an imperfect human.
The Case for Leaving Gender a Mystery
I’m a huge proponent of leaving your baby’s gender a secret — from your friends, family, and yourself. Here, I make a case for the biggest surprise of your life.
For the Birds
All summer long, I looked forward to my maternity leave. Now that it’s over, I’ve decided that this working mother stuff is for the birds.
Cowboy Caretaking
A story my 92-year old friend shared got me thinking about “child safety” now versus the good ol’ days. I think we’ve gone a bit overboard.
The Luckiest Girl in the World
I’ve been told that my labor and delivery story is pretty amazing. I feel sheepish to have been so lucky. Here’s how it all went down.
Fighting for a girl
We didn’t get pregnant with the goal of having a girl or a boy; just a human. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t got my fingers crossed for a particular gender.
Hamburgers and Turtles: Skipping the Gender Reveal
To find out the gender or not to find out? That is the question, and it’s a very personal one. As usual, I have my own very strong opinion on the topic.
Needles, woods, and other things to leave behind
Every milestone signifies the start of something new, and the end of something else. Hopefully someday one of these milestones will give me permission to relax.
A Delicate Balance
Is it dangerous to know too much about the possible bad outcomes? How can you keep the happy ending in mind when your head is contemplating a Quentin Tarantino ending?
Stealing my husband’s thunder
I’ve been waiting a few weeks so my husband can post his own blog about what’s happening with our baby-making mission. But I guess I will jump the gun and let the cat out of the bag. Hey, who likes idioms?!
Not a BFP. More like an LTP.
Being pregnant is an absolute. You either are, or you’re not. Right? That’s what I always thought, but like many things in this dog-and-pony show, I am learning as I go.
Dr. Pancake and my WTF Appointment
My doctor got rid of the private entrance for infertility patients, but I now understand the appeal of the back door (wait, that didn’t come out right).
WTF is a WTF appointment?
They call it the “WTF Appointment” — the one you have with the doctors after your IVF fails, where they can’t give you any reason why it didn’t work. Nor can they tell you anything that’s really of value at all. So we just decided not to go to ours.
Becoming a Bitter Infertile
You know that whole “don’t judge me ’til you’ve walked a mile in my shoes” thing I am always preaching? I realized today that I am really, really bad at following my own advice.
The News: Getting the results of our iVF cycle
The phone rang. “Are you somewhere you can talk?” the nurse asked. With that, I already knew what she was going to say. Our first attempt at IVF, our first fresh cycle, had failed. Is there an upside to this? I try my damnedest to find a few positives in this crappy, shit-loaded situation.
“Will someone PLEASE give me a shot in the ass? Please?!?!”
An unadvertised “Joy of Infertility” — finding someone willing to stick a needle in your booty for hormone injections. When I had to spend a night in Chicago for work, I suddenly found myself without a shot-giver. Finding one was a huge pain in the ass (ha ha).
People can really surprise you.
Just when you think you know what to expect from other people, they throw you a curve ball. — sometimes wonderful, and sometimes cruel.
“Should you be drinking? Aren’t you trying to get pregnant?”
I do not even want to describe the fate that awaits he (or she) who stands between a grieving woman going through infertility and her ice-cold beer.
“Have you tried acupuncture?”
Some folks swear up and down that it’s the holy grail, even people I know and trust. I’m not curious enough to try it. because I think it’s malarkey.
![“You need to [gain/lose] weight.”](https://www.peanutmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/guppy4.jpg)
“You need to [gain/lose] weight.”
There are few times in life where people feel it’s OK give you advice on your weight. Unfortunately, when you are trying to get pregnant is one of those times.
“Did you try putting your legs in the air?”
Ah, another gem for the “Captain Obvious” category. I can’t even count how many people told me this over the last year and a half.
“You just need to relax. Then you’ll get pregnant.”
If you tell someone they need to lose weight to get pregnant, you’re basically calling them fat. By telling me I need to relax, what’s that saying?
You’re better off shutting up.
My first post — the inception of this blog, explained.